You Never Really Think About These Things, but They are SO TRUE!!! (part 1)

January 5, 2010 at 10:37 am (Uncategorized)

I wish I could take all the credit by coming up with these on my own, but alas I cannot, so please enjoy reading through these mini-revelations and bask in the feeling that will inevitably come when you realize that “Oh Yeeeeahhhh!, That is SOOO true!!!”

Cheers!

The Voice of the Vixen

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you’re wrong.

I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have
fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when
they’ve invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going
in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going?
But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from
which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or
phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no
one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

That’s enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work?
You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the
problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix
the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just
figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw
it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on
highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I
decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk
over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both
go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to
guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I
just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats
can re cognize their own image.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take
2 trips to bring my groceries in.

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1 Comment

  1. pauly4it said,

    I especially can relate to the last two. It’s just so difficult to fold a fitted sheet well.

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