Father Always Knows Best

June 7, 2010 at 6:36 am (Uncategorized)

So this might be my tradition, to start off some of my mornings with rants about much you mean to me. As of right now you mean very, VERY little to me.

When my father told me to break it off with you, I should have listened. That would have saved me so much heartache. He told me that you sounded like bad news and that continuing the relationship would have just spelled out trouble for me.

Little did I know how right he was.

But I decided, hey I’m 19 and I began this relationship out of my own volition, so I would continue it because it was something that I wanted on my own and I did not want him to control every damn thing in my life. This is the one thing I wanted, so I continued it behind his back. Thus began 2 years of lies. That’s what you were, a LIE. A measly, pale-white lie. Even my mother didn’t know. I couldn’t tell my mother the one person all girls are supposed to run to to dish about their boyfriends, but I justified the whole thing by saying to myself once we become established and begin our futures together they will have to get over their qualms about him because he is worth it. He is worth all this trouble. I realize that my dad was right. NO guy is worth lying to my parents for. No guy is worth hiding from them. Especially not you. If I had ended it, I would have been less invested in the relationship and being able to continue my life without you would have been much, MUCH easier. You would have just as soon been forgotten from my memory and some other female schmuck would have been none the wiser and then she could have been screwed by you.

I can remember all of the times that I told my father that I was done with you and that I wasn’t with you, knowing fully well that I was lying through my teeth. I hate that I had to do that. I know it wasn’t your fault that I had to lie, but since all my sadness this week is your fault, I’m blaming you for this one too. It’s my blog. I can do that. So I blame you. Assbag.

Hell, I should have rejected your sorry ass when you asked me out in the first place. You looked so nervous when you asked me, and maybe that’s why I said yes, because you probably would have gone home crying if I said no to you. Hm.

Well I have a pretty big final exam to study for tomorrow and my focus has been on and off. I’m going to say this once and for all: If I fail my exams tomorrow and the next day, the blame is 100% yours. I didn’t ask for this, you tool. I didn’t ask for my world to be completely turned upside down just so that you could have a convenient excuse to end it with me. None of this was my doing. So if I fail, or do even remotely badly: I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR RUINING THE LAST QUARTER OF MY JUNIOR YEAR. I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU. Be rest assured of that. So if you know a way to help me not fail this exam, you better tell me. You know how to contact me. Unless you deleted my number already, which I won’t put past you as you are a stranger to me now.

For what you have put me through, you owe me that much at least.

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