Back to the Beginning

June 18, 2010 at 8:04 am (Uncategorized)

I seem to always come back to this forum to express my thoughts. But it helps somewhat. So yesterday was our final goodbye and I cried harder and longer than I have ever cried in my life before. Ever. I cannot believe that it’s really over. But perhaps this distance thing will make things easier. Maybe.

But now I am back to feeling hopelessly angry. So here it is: I hate you once again. The same hate that I got over a while ago is back. I hate you and it’s stronger this time. Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate. Yep. That’s correct. And I am feeling the same regrets about ever spending two years doing anything with you that I was before. It’s all rushing back.

I want you to realize that you did me wrong. You hurt me so badly. I want you to come to your senses and realize what it is you are doing and what you lost, but then again, I don’t want to be hurt all over again by you. So maybe we do need some time apart like you said. So stay away from me, although I am sure I really did not need to say that, I did/will anyway. Stay the hell away from me.

Thanks for everything you have done for me. And thanks for nothing.

I found this website, I thought I’d share it: http://tinyurl.com/3dg

Have a nice life.

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Time

June 8, 2010 at 7:13 am (Uncategorized)

The length of this post represents the amount of time I have to waste on thinking about you.

It’s not my loss.

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Father Always Knows Best

June 7, 2010 at 6:36 am (Uncategorized)

So this might be my tradition, to start off some of my mornings with rants about much you mean to me. As of right now you mean very, VERY little to me.

When my father told me to break it off with you, I should have listened. That would have saved me so much heartache. He told me that you sounded like bad news and that continuing the relationship would have just spelled out trouble for me.

Little did I know how right he was.

But I decided, hey I’m 19 and I began this relationship out of my own volition, so I would continue it because it was something that I wanted on my own and I did not want him to control every damn thing in my life. This is the one thing I wanted, so I continued it behind his back. Thus began 2 years of lies. That’s what you were, a LIE. A measly, pale-white lie. Even my mother didn’t know. I couldn’t tell my mother the one person all girls are supposed to run to to dish about their boyfriends, but I justified the whole thing by saying to myself once we become established and begin our futures together they will have to get over their qualms about him because he is worth it. He is worth all this trouble. I realize that my dad was right. NO guy is worth lying to my parents for. No guy is worth hiding from them. Especially not you. If I had ended it, I would have been less invested in the relationship and being able to continue my life without you would have been much, MUCH easier. You would have just as soon been forgotten from my memory and some other female schmuck would have been none the wiser and then she could have been screwed by you.

I can remember all of the times that I told my father that I was done with you and that I wasn’t with you, knowing fully well that I was lying through my teeth. I hate that I had to do that. I know it wasn’t your fault that I had to lie, but since all my sadness this week is your fault, I’m blaming you for this one too. It’s my blog. I can do that. So I blame you. Assbag.

Hell, I should have rejected your sorry ass when you asked me out in the first place. You looked so nervous when you asked me, and maybe that’s why I said yes, because you probably would have gone home crying if I said no to you. Hm.

Well I have a pretty big final exam to study for tomorrow and my focus has been on and off. I’m going to say this once and for all: If I fail my exams tomorrow and the next day, the blame is 100% yours. I didn’t ask for this, you tool. I didn’t ask for my world to be completely turned upside down just so that you could have a convenient excuse to end it with me. None of this was my doing. So if I fail, or do even remotely badly: I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR RUINING THE LAST QUARTER OF MY JUNIOR YEAR. I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU. Be rest assured of that. So if you know a way to help me not fail this exam, you better tell me. You know how to contact me. Unless you deleted my number already, which I won’t put past you as you are a stranger to me now.

For what you have put me through, you owe me that much at least.

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Some of My Random Thoughts

June 6, 2010 at 9:06 am (Uncategorized)

So it’s been a while since I last posted something on my blog, I’ve actually kind of given up on the whole blogging thing, but it is finals week and before I can begin studying for the finals, I needed to get down some of my thoughts about my recent break-up with a guy I thought I loved very much.

He was (I hate that now I have to use the past tense for this) my love and my life. I was so happy with him. Sure, we fought, but that’s normal. We’d always make-up and move on with our lives. He’s a senior and I am junior in college so there would have been a gap year before I would have graduated. We were both applying to medical school and I thought that we would continue our relationship long-distance with an occasional visit here and there and then we would matriculate to the same medical school and start right where we left off, but this time beginning our professional life together. HOWEVER, the part that makes me the most hurt is the fact that he didn’t even want to try to continue the long-distance relationship. That meant that he did not even want for the relationship to continue in the first place, because if you wanted something to work you would do everything in your power to make it happen, and if doesn’t then it isn’t for lack of trying. I later found out that he didn’t want it to continue.

After ruminating over how he broke up with me, I fluctuate between extreme hurt and extreme hate. What is it today? It’s hate.

So, with that said, if you ever see this, even though I am sure you won’t, because you have already forgotten about me and have moved on, like an assbag that you are, I will tell you exactly how much I hate you.

1) I hate you for wasting 2 years of my life. That’s all I can regard them as. As a fucking waste of my time.

2) I hate you for allowing me to become so enamoured with you.

3) I hate that you messed up my vision of us having a nice life together.

4) I hate you for using words like ‘future’ and ‘we will’ making me think that there was an ‘us’ beyond the undergraduate level

5) I hate that you are such a god-damned push-over and and can never speak up for yourself making me seem like I walked over you.

6) I hate that you keep everything to yourself that is bothering you and then you use that as an excuse to break-up with me.

7) I hate that I keep dwelling on this and as far as I am concerned you have forgotten about me just like that.

8 ) I hate that I had so many ‘firsts’ with you and you are willing to throw all that away

9) I hate that if there was something bothering you, you never said anything about it until it became too late. How the hell am I supposed to be a mind-reader??

10) I hate that you said that you said you weren’t ready for a commitment when you knew fully well that I was. Which meant that you were leading me on for 2 whole years!

11) I hate that you ended it during finals week.

There are so many more hateful sentences that I could write, but I am so angry right now that writing about it is only taking more time away from what I need to do.

In summary, I hate you. I hate you so goddamn much. I wish you the worst in life right now. I hope you are never happy. Ever. I hope that you are so consumed with guilt that it immobilizes you. I hope that this makes you realize how shitty a person you are, because you are. You’re such a shitty person. You’re such a loser who depended too much on me. You are so worthless. The shit in the toilet is worth more than you.

Fuck you, asshole.

That is all.

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food that is better looked at than eaten…

March 20, 2010 at 9:14 pm (March 2010) (, , , )

Hey all!

Long time no blog! I know, I know. It’s been way too long, but such is the life of a college junior. Anyway, I thought the best way to ease back in was to post some pictures up that would make you think twice about eating food. I found these somewhere and thought I’d share them with you. Let me know what you think!

Enjoy! (Literally!)

The Voice of the Vixen

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A question that is still unanswered…

February 20, 2010 at 1:30 pm (February 2010) (, , , , , , , , , )

I’m going to just come right out and say it:

I. LOVE. LADY. GAGA.

Her persona, her voice, her charisma, and her songs are all something that we all aspire to achieve and here she is, an embodiment of all of that – and then some. However, speaking of embodiment: what else does she embody? A penis or a vagina, or both?

Against my better half, I want to claim that Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite or even a drag queen, essentially implying that she is a man. This claim would essentially make her the most successful hermaphrodite/drag queen there is. (Move over Rue Paul!)

RuPaul

However, the question still remains unanswered. I think the reason why I (along with several other people) are questioning Lady Gaga’s sexual identity is that she portrays herself in such an outlandish and flamboyant manner that it would almost be rude not to describe her as having queenish tendencies. Songs aside, her fashion sense is such that not even the top and most daring designers would attempt to emulate it. I mean have you seen Lady Gaga recently?

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2010/02/lady_gaga_slideshow.html#photo=1

We haven’t seen such boldness in sound, dress, and attitude since Madonna:

Classic Madonna

Once the chills go away after listening to Bad Romance, I revert back to thinking: “What is Lady Gaga’s sexual identity?” The other part of me thinks that Lady Gaga is 100% feminine without a drop of testosterone to speak of. What makes me think this is her off-camera persona. She is incredibly feminine in her mannerisms and her voice is also light and airy. Had she been a male at any point in her life, the voice is the first thing that would have revealed her true identity. HOWEVER with enough money and a sharp scalpel anyone can change anything about themselves.

So I need help y’all! What do you think about this issue? Voice your opinion! Leave me a comment! I’d love to get an answer to this question!

Cheers,

The Voice of the Vixen

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Funny but True (part 2)

February 5, 2010 at 1:56 pm (February 2010) (, , )

So here is part 2 of another posting I made a while back. This a continuation of somethings that you never really take the time to think about, but they are soooo true!

Enjoy!!

The Voice of the Vixen

********************

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a
text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread
of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to
say”.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test
is absolutely petrifying.

My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing
as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the
name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I
hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and
smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I
will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had
to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as
in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively
swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know
how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower
first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and
you can wear them forever.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is
public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB
gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around
and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous?
Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when
you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for
the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to
have to restart my collection.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to
die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV.
There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I
keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a
matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be
friends after this?’

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and
USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when
Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t
already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I
like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for
pedophiles…

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no
matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know
what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer
when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find
out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact
that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with
it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in
a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d
bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen
if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link
takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive
behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they
had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at
the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then
estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a
large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like
being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

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You’ve Got Male!

January 21, 2010 at 11:36 am (Uncategorized)

So some odd weeks ago, I let you in on my top 10 (actually top 9) female crushes, and I think enough time has passed to evaluate my top 10 male crushes. These men are, in my opinion hot, hot, HOT! So for all my female readers: Enjoy! And for all my male readers, BE JEALOUS! Haha

Cheers!

The Voice of the Vixen

1) Channing Tatum

2) Matt Lanter

3) Eric Dane

4) Frank Mir

5) Chase Crawford

6) Tyson Beckford

7) David Beckham

8) Zac Efron

9) Daniel Radcliffe

10) So I know I haven’t even scratched the surface of extremely hot guys, so I want to know who your favorite hottie is! Leave me a comment to tell me who I missed…

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You Never Really Think About These Things, but They are SO TRUE!!! (part 1)

January 5, 2010 at 10:37 am (Uncategorized)

I wish I could take all the credit by coming up with these on my own, but alas I cannot, so please enjoy reading through these mini-revelations and bask in the feeling that will inevitably come when you realize that “Oh Yeeeeahhhh!, That is SOOO true!!!”

Cheers!

The Voice of the Vixen

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you’re wrong.

I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have
fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when
they’ve invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going
in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going?
But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from
which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or
phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no
one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

That’s enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work?
You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the
problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix
the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just
figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw
it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on
highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I
decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk
over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both
go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to
guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I
just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats
can re cognize their own image.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take
2 trips to bring my groceries in.

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Girl Crushes

December 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm (December 2009) (, , , , )

So, have you noticed how pretty some celebrities are? *Jealous* Below are the girls whom I have ‘girl crushes’ on. Lol. Enjoy! (in no particular order, that is…)

1. Kourtney Kardashian

2. Mila Kunis

3.  Emma Stone

4.  Olivia Wilde

5.  Gina Carano

6.  Cassie

6. Blake Lively

7.  Leighton Meester

8. Tia Mowry

9. Tamera Mowry

10. (Insert Name Here)

Who do you think should be on here?

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